How I wish I was a kid again!!

I desperately want to go back to the time:


when "gettin high" meant "on a swing"
when "drinking" meant "milk or apple juice"
when "dad" was the only "hero"
when "love" was "mum's hugs"
when "dad's shoulder" was "the highest place on the earth"
when "my enemy" was "my bro" who used to steal my toys
when the only thing that could "hurt" were "skinned knees"
when the only thing "broken" were my "toys" and
when "goodbyes" meant only "till tomorrow"

Experience!!

Came back this morning from delhi. Weather at delhi is terrible. The night we landed at delhi, the temperature was 43c at 7:15PM. Anyway trip was okie. I attended my interview at NBRC, gurgaon. Its a beautiful place. The campus was awesome as well.

My interview continued for like 25min. Was asked hell lot of questions. Could answer many. I was even asked to explain a topic on the board. Lol. Something that only I was asked to do. I met a lot of people from all over India, most of them from the north and especially from the Delhi University. It was a trip well loaded with a lot of experience and fun. Meeting the creamest of the students kinda inspires you. And I did get inspired. It was nice altogether.

Wanna go back in time!!

I desperately wanna go back in time. I hope the clock stops ticking! I wanna correct all the flaws in my life. Set things right. I dont want my life in a mess. Hope my wish comes true. I want the power to control time. Bestow me with such power...plzzzzz!

What success means to me!!

Got some good news, my request for postponement of the two-tier interview at NBRC( for people who dont know..its National Brain Research Centre, Gurgaon), has been accepted and the interview is scheduled on 19th may at 8:30 AM. So am leaving for delhi on the 18th. About gettin into that, is a different question. But why give up, without trying?? Just giving a chance. But at a good cost! Hmmm..sorry dad ;)

Now what does success mean to you?? Success, for me, means more than money, fame or managing tasks well - its all about getting the best out of yourself, gaining hell lot of respect, just controlling stress and leading a happy, calm and a fulfilling life with your people. We often try to solve our problems by looking for the external solutions.. It gets us frustrating when the problems keep showing up over and over again. But the real solution lies within ourselves.

I have realised that its better to change ourselves rather than trying to change the circumstances or people in our life. I dont mean, hurting our individuality.. But c'mon, change is necessary in life. Remember that, as we step into the outer world, we may find that there will be people who want us to be like them, they want us to think, be and speak like them. But thats about who they are, not who we are! We just have to stay true to ourselves.

This is what I believe and this is what I am....unique with my own special inner brilliance!! What say??

On being Lucky!!

I've never had magic, but even better...I was bestowed with luck! And so, every morning I wake up and consider myself to be really lucky. I count my blessings and giggle away happily...

I am lucky, to be born to the most wonderful parents in this world,
I am lucky, I have a lovely brother who can never watch me cry,
I am lucky, I was born to be original, to be just 'ME',
I am lucky, I was named with the most beautiful name,
I am lucky, I have awesome friends, whom I can trust with my life and
yeah, I am lucky I have a life that my friends envy at times,
I am lucky, I am being loved so much by everyone,
I am lucky, to be blessed by god,
I am lucky, my family and friends have always been with me to share my happiness and pain,
I am lucky, I get whatever my heart feels and wants,
I am lucky, I was taught by teachers who always inspire me to reach for the skies,
I am lucky, I am considered special to few who can bring me no worries and no hate at all,
I am lucky, I was taught to be contended with what I have,
I am lucky, I was taught to serve people the best possible way,
I am lucky, I was taught the meaning of unconditional love,
Finally, I am lucky, to be this lucky!!

To Mum, with LOVE!!

Firstly, Happy Mother's day to the World's Greatest Mums!!
What can we say about mothers?? Can we even describe the greatness of them?? May be I never can. I can only say that she is the greatest gift I was ever bestowed from god. Nothing more precious than her. I've been with her for 20 yrs now. The very touch of my mum when I was baby, I wish I remembered how it felt. I wanna go back to those days when I was safe in her arms, cuddling her tightly. I cherish all my moments with mum. Moments when I shared the best and worst of my life. She was always there for me.. she is there for me evn now. And she will always be here for me.

There are at times, when I just yell at her for silly reasons, but deep inside is a feeling of guilt. She does and says everything only for my happiness. She smiles along with me, cries along with me. Aint I lucky?? I love you mum. I know I never told you this directly. But I love you a lot.

This is for you,
Thanks for being with me through my bruised knees, my school homeworks, my heartbreaks and for teaching me the meaning of unconditional love. I love you and you are my World's greatest MUM. I hope to be like you. I wanna be like you. I pray to god never to keep me away from you.

"Mom, without you, there would be no me.
Your love, your attention, your guidance
have made me who I am.
Without you, I would be lost,
wandering aimlessly,without direction or purpose.
You showed me the way to serve,
to accomplish, to persevere.
Without you, there would be an empty space
I could never fill, no matter how I tried.
Instead, because of you,I have joy
contentment, satisfaction and peace.
Thank you, mom.
I have always loved you and I always will."

P.S: I know that there is no gift that can repay mother's love. But I presented my mum with a small gift - "A Titan Raga".

The Silence of the Rain!!

Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
The rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night—
And I love the rain.

How I wished it rained all the time in hyderabad!! It was a lovely evening the day before. I was downstairs enjoying an awesome match with the kids. Though, I guess I just started learning to play it( coz I am playing the gentleman's game after like 8yrs) hehe...my score doesnt go beyond 5 runs:( It was 6:30pm. Just the time when the sun glides down the starry sky. It was cloudy that day. Had been very hot in the afternoon. But what a change!! Just about the time for the final innings of our apts match, the kids realised it started drizzling. I was inside the garage talking to my friend. The gals just threw away the bats and came running to me, pushing me to the terrace. And on the terrace, the view was like.........wow!! It was beautiful! I drenched in the rain...literally everydrop kissing my skin. I loved the rain. I always do. be it the season or not. Playing in the puddles was my all time fav sport as a kid. Finally. it started gettin much heavier..the lightning and the bolts! The kids...you know...got scared. They came to me and started holding me tight. Aww...so cute. We sat below the tank. I still was enjoying the view.I was trying to hold as many drops as I could, by stretching out my arms. Then the kids felt it was time for a story. Told them the twilight one. All of them were gazing at me.. sitting around me and listening to me keenly. Was up on the terrace for like 3hrs. An evening I can never forget. An evening rain that washed my sorrows for a while!!

A boring afternoon!

I get up early today, just to have a great day ahead. But what do I get in return, 31/2hrs of powercut and complete boredom. Huh. Everything got late. Dint feel like staying home. Wanted to run away to some cold place. And I am HOME ALONE!! Can anything get this sick?? I couldnt even play with my baby cousin. She was fast asleep. Their lives are better. Sleeping all the time and enjoying the coziness of adults arms. Had a long shower. Wanted to speak to few friends. But guess all of them are lazing around or taking a nap. Finally...started my music lessons at home. And now, the power is back! I call this afternoon the worst afternoon of this summer!

What makes me different??

There is a part of me that feels I am different from everyone else. I am sweet. Very true at heart. But this feeling, I cant see it. I cant show it. It feels very different., very unreal. Whatever caused this feeling, must be really horrible and bad. I get angry. It gets sick. I feel lost and sad. Guess I need a break. I try to forget it, but it just peeps back.

Arghhh... seriously, I hate myself for being like this. This is not what I am!! I am different. I love giving smiles, I dont want that to be a sin. I believe in imagination as well as reality. God made me different. I am precious.. I know it. So I should just stop worrying about what people think of me. Who cares?? I feel sorry for all those who never understood my worth..

Dreamless Night!

Scientifically talking, what are dreams?? Are they something like a series of events( related or may not be related), images, sounds and feelings in narrative? the content or purpose of a dream is not fully understood most of the times. But they do have a meaning.

Every person dreams of something or the other which he/she may not remember. Depends actually. I usually remember most of my dreams. May be I dream till the time I wake up. For me, they constitute imagination, fantasy and amusement. The most common emotion I experience in my dreams is curiosity. My dreams are very adventurous you see. Its got all the people I know, but the places, fantasy lands!! Situations commonly in my dreams relate to my school, friends places, being chased( which is very often: I often run a lot ) and flying. Its like am ubiquitous. Lol.

Most memorable dreams I had include an unusual, infact, an amazing adventure with a friend. No words to describe. The place I've been is like beautiful( Reminds me of the locations of LotR), meeting a vampire( got it the day I saw Twilight, I call it twilight aftereffects), running from someone( most often), etc. and yeah. one common thing, it usually rains in my dreams.

I have a dream almost everyday. I enjoy them. But these days, I don get them or may be I just dont remember them. The nights are awful too. May be I should start sleeping under the moonlight instead of sleeping in my messy, hot room. Looking at the astro ceiling doesnt help anymore. Actually, I still dont get it?!! Do we all dream everyday, is it just the we dont remember them often? How are dreams different from reality? I would surely want to research on this. I will call it ' Working on dream theories and interpretations'. Sounds cool, isnt it? Dreams, here I come!!

TWILIGHT MADNESS!

Reading yet another romantic novel. Its a young adult vampire-romance novel called TWILIGHT by Stephenie Meyer. Its a series of 4 books. Doing the 2nd one now. The first was made into a movie as well. The 2nd one in progress.

A must for all the young adults out there. Go grab the books and start reading!

P.S: Watch the movie too. Its got Robert Pattinson playing the mysterious and dazzingly beautiful "Edward Cullen"

A poem!!

Btw, did I ever tell you that one of my best friend's a great poet? I just love his poems. I will post them soon( with his permission that is). My love for poetry and music never dies. They are my soul. They save my soul. They are my escape.

Here is one beautiful poem that I read recently on some page. You gotto read it.


"as the rains continue to batter,
standing on the balcony
i watch the rain drops
converge into one pool of water;

i wish you were here
standing next to me
in this rain soaked night,
holding hands,
scheming of things pretty;

Wondering to myself,
so late at night,
what is it that attracts me to you?
Thinking to myself,
why are you always on my mind?
What power do you have in what you do?

thinking about where i stood,
i try to push you out of my mind,
but every time i push you out of my thoughts,
you crawl back into my world and fill my senses;

it’s so hard to keep smiling
and continue denying what i feel
i don’t know why,
a thousand reasons i have none;

i can’t go on like this,
i can’t pretend everything is fine,
when i just wanna be with you
hold you tight tonight and every night."

Can love be this crazy?? Ask your ownself!!

My blog's still alive!

OMG!! I dint realise its almost an year since I blogged. Guess I dint find time to write few sentences. But thats not true. That cant be a valid excuse either. I am sorry for myself.

Here I sit trying to write what my heart wants to, while my mind tries to hold the words back. Anyway, a lot happened over this year. I finally finished my grad exams. What could a daily routine be for a normal simple gal like me?? True! But guys, a simple gal like me faces an exciting day each day. Million problems, hundred good things. How I wish a smile can just wipe away trouble from life!! Life started gettin sick! Nothing was going my way.. I was clumsy.. May be I still am. Fought with friends for no reason. But I love them. I really do. You think about all this, you just start smiling. You realise how silly you are. Life truly is amazing! May be...just may be because I am amazing. I know how good at heart I am. I know how much my people love me for what I am. I care for people. I love them.

Only lately I experienced the bitterness of life! No admits from the US universities?( **** them...they need 16yrs edu). It hurts. It really does. I started realising that nothing lasts forever. I took chances. I never regretted at any point of my life. I started avoiding all the bullshit. Stopped worrying about the people from the past. I did what I wanted to do( right way I mean). But why dont the others understand? I ask myself if I was ever mean to anyone. My heart sincerely says "no".

Life doesnt stop. The minutes are moving faster now. The days continue to come and go. I just dont want grief to take over me. I will have to face ups and downs in life. Its a challenge afterall.. I cant lose it. There is something called 'belief'. Things are gonna get better for me. I am sure. Everything will just be as amazing as it was before.